Fun / Jokes

"Today" meaning whatever day you're reading this.

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Who will want to pick a fight today? lol

+8   5  Reply

StarzAbove 6 days ago

I haven't been on amirite today.

+7   5  Reply

Blewynanifail 6 days ago

In response to “I haven't been on amirite today.

Suuuuuuuuuuuure...

+2   2  

Sofia 2 days ago

Nothing political, that is for sure!!

+9   6  Reply

Will_Janitor 6 days ago

How many inane questions will be posted anonymously.

+8   6  Reply

Linnster 6 days ago

In response to “How many inane questions will be posted...

hahaha I've seen two this morning. lol

+4   2  

StarzAbove 6 days ago

In response to “How many inane questions will be posted...

Did you find many?

+2   1  

Sofia 2 days ago

In response to “Did you find many?

A few.

+2   2  

Linnster yesterday

How many men will send me naked pictures today...

+6   6  Reply

JD 6 days ago

In response to “How many men will send me naked pictures today...

I didn't know you swung that way, JD. (wt)

+3   3  

Thinkerbell 6 days ago

In response to “I didn't know you swung that way, JD. (wt)

I don't, but the girls have stopped sending them...

+4   4  

JD 6 days ago

In response to “I don't, but the girls have stopped sending...

They must have been admonished that it was a violation of TOS when they did. (hehe)

+3   3  

Thinkerbell 6 days ago

In response to “They must have been admonished that it was a...

Can't find anything in the rules that says you can't send pics to JD

+3   3  

JD 6 days ago

In response to “Can't find anything in the rules that says...

No rule against PM, I was talking about public comments with naked pics; quite a few of those have been taken down. (biggrin)

+4   4  

Thinkerbell 6 days ago

In response to “No rule against PM, I was talking about...

I'm too nice to do that.....sweet English boy...I feel a poem coming on

+2   2  

JD 6 days ago

In response to “I'm too nice to do that.....sweet English...

Try to keep it clean... (hehe)

+2   2  

Thinkerbell 6 days ago

In response to “Try to keep it clean... (hehe)

I meant you...not me

+2   2  

JD 6 days ago

In response to “I meant you...not me

There once was a sweet English boy,
Who NEVER would seek to enjoy
The sight of a pic
Of a STARK naked chick,
Or he'd surely deploy his stiff toy.

+2   2  

Thinkerbell 6 days ago

In response to “How many men will send me naked pictures today...

Three, ye so shiny and fine.

+2    

ZonkeyBalls 6 days ago

In response to “Three, ye so shiny and fine.

Only three, a bad day....I thought you was going away

+1   1  

JD 6 days ago

In response to “Only three, a bad day....I thought you was...

Even Death rejects me.

I smell too bad, apparently. Flowers and cinnamon oil.

0    

ZonkeyBalls 6 days ago

In response to “Even Death rejects me. I smell too bad...

I don't mean dying you said you were seeing family....

+1   1  

JD 6 days ago

In response to “I don't mean dying you said you were seeing...

Did that.

Spent six days over there.

Are you certain you are all right? You might have skipped a week or so...

+1    

ZonkeyBalls 6 days ago

In response to “Did that. Spent six days over there. Are...

Feels like you've never been gone

+1   1  

JD 6 days ago

In response to “Feels like you've never been gone

I did two days out of six on the site.

Hey, I have to keep up the appearances and my brother has a 100 meg/s optical cable, with full WiFi support, so...

EDIT: Just in case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm using a laptop, which goes quite neatly inside my backpack.

0    

ZonkeyBalls 6 days ago

In response to “How many men will send me naked pictures today...

Were you satisfied with the number? xD

+2   2  

Sofia 2 days ago

In response to “Were you satisfied with the number? xD

None so far, losing my touch...

+2   2  

JD 2 days ago

In response to “None so far, losing my touch...

HAHAHAHAHA xD

+1   1  

Sofia 2 days ago

Automobile maintenance

+5   5  Reply

Diego 6 days ago

what's in the fridge.

+4   4  Reply

Freeranger 6 days ago

In response to “what's in the fridge.

Something cold I would guess.

0    

Sofia 2 days ago

[REDACTED]

+3   4  Reply

Crimson 6 days ago

Having a heart attack as a surprise attack move.

+4   4  Reply

ZonkeyBalls 6 days ago

In response to “Having a heart attack as a surprise attack move.

That doesn't seem like a good idea.

+1   1  

Sofia 2 days ago

Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Sofia? Your flag shows Russia... I thought you were in Portugal...

+3   3  Reply

ZonkeyBalls 6 days ago

In response to “Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Sofia? Your flag shows...

Her account was hacked by Russian hackers. :P

+2   2  

primeiro 5 days ago

In response to “Her account was hacked by Russian hackers. :P

Don't say that. Someone will start calling me a bot xD

+1   1  

Sofia 2 days ago

In response to “Oops. (zip) (jk)

xD

+1   1  

Sofia yesterday

In response to “Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Sofia? Your flag shows...

I'm actually in the UK. I'm living here for the moment. I'm indeed from Portugal but when I post in Amirite with certain phones, it shows the Russian flag.

+1   1  

Sofia 2 days ago

The bizarre dream I'd just had, having a cup of coffee, and how wonderful it is that all those kids and their coach got safely out of that cave.

+6   6  Reply

Piper2 6 days ago

In response to “The bizarre dream I'd just had, having a cup...

I was just reading about that. Good thing they got away safely.

+3   3  

primeiro 6 days ago

My mind is a confusion. :P But here's a few things that I can remember that were on my mind.

1) Georgia. (So, you see, Georgia was on my mind... Got it?? "Georgia on my mind"... You know, because of the song... I'm hilarious. Just kidding.)

2) A random dream that I had. In this dream, I encountered my colleagues from the last year of high-school. It was on a beach (no idea why). Seemed to be like a farewell from school or something like that. I was leaving and waving goodbye to them...? Anyway, as one of them took out a phone or a camera, or whatever, to take a picture... I woke up.

(In reality, I guess I never really gave a proper goodbye to them. Maybe this was my brain trying to make me feel guilty of that. lol.)

Anyway, inside the dream I was really sleepy and could barely move my arm to wave goodbye. As a matter of fact, I was lying down, unable to get up. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable about how weird I would look in the photo.

So... yeah, stupid dream.

3) Something work-related.

4) Something I was reading about yesterday (the Tokyo subway sarin attacks and the recent execution of some of the convicted... I'm sure you heard about that).

+4   4  Reply

primeiro 6 days ago

In response to “My mind is a confusion. :P But here's a few...

Oh, yeah, weird dreams. I have plenty of those. I have this recurrent dream since I was a kid. I'm in a field - in one side are samurais, in the other tribe warriors. They're fighting and I hide behind a big rock, with a rock wall behind me. One of the warriors finds me and brings an axe on my head and I wake up with that. Every time I wake up with my heart going crazy.
I have no idea what my brain is trying to tell me and honestly, I think I prefer not knowing.

I didn't know about that. I haven't seen many news recently.

+1   1  

Sofia 2 days ago

In response to “Oh, yeah, weird dreams. I have plenty of...

Wow, that dream seems like a pretty intense experience.

I can't imagine what your brain might be trying to tell you.

Maybe your brain is just thinking ahead into the future and warning you to never get caught in the middle of a war. :P

You know, this will become a common danger when things such as teletransportation and time machines become generally available. You need to be mindful of when / where you choose to travel to. So yeah, maybe that's what your brain is referring to. :P

+1   1  

primeiro yesterday

In response to “Wow, that dream seems like a pretty intense...

Soooooo... it's telling me I'll be a companion of the Doctor?

+1   1  

Sofia yesterday

In response to “Soooooo... it's telling me I'll be a...

Yes, exactly. I would like to watch that episode. :P

+1   1  

primeiro 23 hrs ago

In response to “Yes, exactly. I would like to watch that...

It would be a very short episode. I would refuse to leave the library and that's it xD

+1   1  

Sofia 23 hrs ago

In response to “It would be a very short episode. I would...

Hahah. xD
So, like, 5 minutes episode and 40 minute commercials. :P

+1   1  

primeiro 23 hrs ago

In response to “Hahah. xD So, like, 5 minutes episode and 40...

Haha, pretty much :D

+1   1  

Sofia 23 hrs ago

I have had dreams, where I wake up and do something and everything seems so slow...

Then I wake up and realize, that I just had a dream about waking up.

It's pretty damn confusing.

+4   4  Reply

ZonkeyBalls 6 days ago

In response to “I have had dreams, where I wake up and do...

Yup, sounds like it.

+1   1  

Sofia 2 days ago

How much time can I spend here on my break before I get off of here?

Who's the latest idiot posting anonymous stuff?

+2   2  Reply

xather 5 days ago

I thought about putting a little more cream in my coffee but I didn't want to get up.
I had just sat down and took my boots off.

I was thinking, "I need one of those tiny refrigerators right here on the side of the recliner, then I could put cream and such in it and I wouldn't have to get up"...

Then I though "I have to get up to get another cup of coffee any way, so I'll just remember to put extra cream next time....because if I put a tiny refrigerator by the recliner...I'd have to put a coffee pot too, or I'd still have to get up anyway".

That's what I was thinking..

Then I got up and got another cup of coffee....with extra cream.

+2   2  Reply

DandyDon 5 days ago

In response to “I thought about putting a little more cream...

Nice story, lol. Now I want coffee.

+2   2  

primeiro 5 days ago

In response to “Nice story, lol. Now I want coffee.

Having some now..lol

+2   2  

DandyDon 5 days ago

In response to “Having some now..lol

(hehe)(smile)

+2   2  

primeiro 5 days ago

In response to “(hehe)(smile)

(y)(smile)

+2   2  

DandyDon 5 days ago

In response to “I thought about putting a little more cream...

I'm pretty sure I've heard before that if you want to find an easy (less active) way to do something, find a lazy person xD You just reminded me of that xD

+2   2  

Sofia 2 days ago

In response to “I'm pretty sure I've heard before that if you...

Yea, you just have to remember to think things all the way through.

If you try something and it doesn't work... because you didn't think it all the way through..."You're lazy".

If you try something and it works, because you thought it all the way through..."You're working smart".

There's a fine line between a lazy person and a genius. (biggrin)

+2   2  

DandyDon 2 days ago

In response to “Yea, you just have to remember to think...

True... so, which one are you? xD

+2   2  

Sofia 2 days ago

In response to “True... so, which one are you? xD

Well, didn't you see how I thought that out and didn't use the faulty idea ? ..

A genius...of course. (maniac)(biggrin)

+2   2  

DandyDon 2 days ago

In response to “Well, didn't you see how I thought that out...

Hehehehe (hehe)(hehe)(hehe)

+2   2  

Sofia 2 days ago

In response to “Hehehehe (hehe)(hehe)(hehe)

(hehe)

+2   2  

DandyDon 2 days ago

Anonymous