Some people cant love someone elses kid, but could they if they tried? If the kid had no one else? People might want to quit overpopulating the planet and try to love who is here already, no?
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Overpopulation is a myth in the west, if not for immigration, our population would be shrinking. There's nothing to say you couldn't adopt a child if you have children, but there's nothing selfish about having kids, it's a labor of love.
There is little we do that is not selfish.
This is true
I would also agree if this post only had the first 8 words.
Adoption is too expensive and too complicated.
I don't buy into overpopulation panic.
Having children of your own is not selfish - it's natural.
I agree with this. It is just a question.
Having kids period is expensive and complicated
I think I get the gist of your comment, but if it were so expensive and complicated, there wouldn't be so many abortions, unwanted children, etc.
Think you got that backwards
Care to explain?
Having a child is expensive and complicated, so there are a lot of unwanted children and pregnancies
Men and women have many choices for prevention of pregnancies. When those methods are not used, THAT is what causes the unwanted pregnancies, regardless of the cost or complications.
But those pregnancies are unwanted because having children is __ and ___
So, why not take advantage of the many birth control methods available?
I imagine the biggest culprits are lacking accessibility and education. But this isn't a conversation about preventing unwanted pregnancies, this is a conversation about how expensive and complicated it is to have a child
I see. So, your concern is about expensive and complicated it is to have a child. You don't want to discuss solutions - just simply state that opinion.
OK then, I guess I don't have anything further to offer to this dead end.
No, I want to establish that so that the expense and complications of adoption aren't taken out of context. If cost and complexity aren't what make adoption less preferable than having a child of your own (since both are expensive and complicated), then what is? I say selfishness is the difference, but I'm still waiting to hear what you think because we've been talking in circles for the last month.
I think your response is incorrect.
Adoption is indeed costly and complex - too much so in my opinion.
Giving birth to a child isn't really that complex; expensive yes.
People wanting to have children of their own is as natural as the sun rise. You call that natural tendency to procreate selfishness. I think you are wrong.
Adopting a child I think occurs most often as a second choice to having one their own. (I'm sure there are some that adopt simply because they love kids and want to help.)
No doubt there is a lot of selfishness in the world, but I don't agree that having children is a part of it.
I don't buy into the idea of feeling guilt for preferring to have you own kids instead of raising kids others have had, but don't want. The solution to that problem is that if people don't want kids, they shouldn't be having them. There is no such thing as an accidental child. Not in todays world with so many options for birth control. (Irresponsibility is not a valid argument)
True, but we shouldnt have such a cold response to the kids. Its not their fault.
It's not a cold reaction to the kids. It's a cold response to the people making these unwanted kids.
Nothing to do with being selfish, having your own kids is a beautiful thing and the feeling you get when you hold your own child, is the furthest you can be from being selfish....but for those who can't have babies then adopting is a fantastic thing to do...
It is selfish to have kids and then expect the world to take care of them. It is not selfish to have your own children as long as you pay and take care of them.
True but what about the kids? Its not their fault, is it?
I never said it was. I blame lazy, careless, irresponsible people who become parents that don't really want kids. It should stop at that generation but we now have five and six generations that are dependent on the taxpayers. Parents should be held accountable for the children they do bring into this world.
I agree. I was raped and kept the baby despite everyone wanting me to abort it. That was a personal decision and as hard as it's been without any help it was a great decision as he's turned out to be one amazing person. I didnt mean to try to make anyone feel guilty for having their own. I mean, mine was the furthest thing from being planned, rape is never planned, but l kept it because it was mine and it's easy to love your own...
Your child is very lucky to have a Mom like you.
You can't blame people for wanting to have their own children made of their own self because some people are horrible parents that left their children or for some reason were unable to care for them.
I am not blaming anyone for anything, Im just saying given the situation shouldnt we care about the kids who already exist?
Jaxxi - What makes you suspect that we don't care about the kids that already exist?
in AZ there is a HUGE problem with law enforcement taking kids from their homes and not having anywhere for them. It is not that people are having kids and dont want them,...they are being taken and put in foster care and there is a major shortage of families. As of mid 2016, more than 18,000 kids are displaced and in the state of AZ care. If these kids are adopted, their families are likely to never see them again. It just bothers me.
How many of those kids crossed over the border without parents?
Not many but a lot of them were born here with parents who got deported...
So the parents didn't try to get legal and had to go home. That's a problem. I'm not buying that "not many" crossed the border without parents in the last 8 years.
Parents are supposed to be the example for their kids. Breaking the law is not much of an example for kids for one and then not doing the right thing is also not a good example.
True but how bad is it over there? Its real easy to say what we would and wouldnt do for our kids while living in our safe clean American homes, but who knows their situation...they could have cartel shootings nightly in their neighborhoods, with dirty water and they are afraid. They just want to get their kids here but go about it wrong. Illegal immigration is not the problem with the Foster Care situation anyways.
Chicago has shootings nightly, Flint had dirty water and there are a lot of people afraid here in the US, but I get your point. Why not clean up
those countries instead of trying to take over ours? How long do you think Americans can keep picking up the tab for everyone else?
There are plenty of legal field jobs that are available. Sneaking into the country does not reflect just wanting what is best for the kids.
According to AZcentral.com, AZ is getting more people because of a backlog in Texas.
You also might want to check into..
Immigration in Arizona: Fact Sheet (2012)
Check it out... 222 people move to Phoenix daily! I live here. I see the people! A friend of mine knows a guy whose brother came over here through an air conditioned tunnel that had rooms for rent in it. Crazy!
A very good friend of mine lives in Gilbert and has been robbed 5 times by illegals. Wouldn't you want to shut down those air conditioned tunnels? 222 people move to Phoenix a day - how many move out and how many are legal? My friend is from another country and is totally disgusted with how we all pay for the illegals and their kids. He feels like he is in the war zone and I couldn't disagree with him.
I'm sorry - is that your answer to my question?
"What makes you suspect that we don't care about the kids that already exist?"
Your response describes a number of problems - serious problems, but not caring about the kids that exist doesn't appear to be one of them.
Assuming the kids were initially removed from a dangerous / dysfunctional environment is protection of the kids. Placing them in foster or adopting homes is further protection.
Why do you think this is such a HUGE problem in Arizona?
Arizona has seen easily the steepest increase of any state in how many kids it removes from their families. Since 2005, as the number of children in the foster-care system declined in most states, it climbed in Arizona, nearly tripling to peak at more than 19,000 children at the end of February.
That surge overwhelmed the Department of Economic Security’s Child Protective Services division. By late 2013, CPS faced a still-rising backlog of more than 14,000 inactive, uninvestigated reports of child abuse or neglect. There were too few foster families, too few spaces in group homes. Children waiting to be placed were sleeping in caseworkers' offices and cars.
That is from a Channel 3 investigation. Kids are being removed from homes and parents are not being given a reason.
What you are saying Jaxxi is that essentially, children are being kidnapped from the homes by the government. That's a pretty serious charge. So much so that I need to question the accuracy of the claim.
So, I did a little research and found that you are pretty much right on target! I did find that they are now requiring a judge to sign off on kids being removed - to try and slow down over zealous case workers.
But there are an awful lot of cases citing neglect, a broad category that can include parental drug use, lack of food, or many other issues. If Mom and Dad aren't taking care of their kids - that's a whole other problem - and why is that so rampant in Arizona?
It certainly looks like a major issue. I better understand your concerns. But I think attention is needed too at the root of the problem - and Jaxxi - you and the other sane people of Arizona need to get on your legislators to do something!
Im trying. They are dragging their feet and I dont know why.
From a certain point of view, perhaps.
However, some people claim you are "selfish" if you don't want any kids at all, as well.
So do what you need to, you want no kids or you want to adopt a hundred, more power to you.
The absolute last thing I want is to pop out a small version of myself that I train to be me. Especially considering that there are people without good homes, and people without homes at all
It is rather sad when you think about it but it isn't your obligation to adopt. I wish people wouldn't make such a serious decision like keeping their babies without the intent of raising the children.
Yes it is.
Frankly it is selfish for anyone to have children who are not 100% able to care for them both emotionally and financially.
What does the one have to do with the other?
There are 1000s of couples who want to adopt kids and only a small percentage are successful and it may be that the system is too strict....
Procreation is a valid end of marriage.
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